Monthly Archives: August 2016

The Requirements to Become an Adoption Agent

The Requirements to Become an Adoption Agent

To start with, an adoption agent is the core link between the adoptive parents, the biological parents and the adoption agency or institution. It can be rightly said, that a child’s future depends a lot on the skills of an adoption agent. If you are looking out for a career in child welfare, then there is nothing better than applying to be an adoption agent.

Adoption Agent: Eligibility Criterion

Essential Qualifications
An ideal candidate for the post of adoption agent is expected to have a two years full-time master’s degree in Social work (MSW) or a law degree. Ideally, an additional qualification in international adoption laws and psychology is a must. After successful completion of your degree or master’s degree, you might be expected to work in a state-owned adoption institute for a minimum of 3000 hours before you qualify to officially work as an adoption agent. These are some of the basic and standard qualifications expected of an adoption agent. However, there might be slight state-wise variations in the expected formal credentials to apply for this post.

Training and Licensing
You need to possess a sufficient training, licenses and certifications from the state where you wish to work. This training can be acquired by working with some adoption institutions such as:

  • Private agency with placement programs
  • Private agency with a domestic infant placement program
  • Private agency with an international placement program
  • Public child welfare agency

A certification to this effect can be obtained from the National Board for Certified Counselors.

Background Check
The adoption agency usually conducts a background check for the adoption agent by scanning through the police records. An agent can be officially appointed only on receipt of a clean chit from the police.

Adoption Agent: Job Expectations

Counseling
An adoption agent, being a link between the birth parents and adoptive parents, has to handle a lot of emotions. He or she needs to be gentle, alert, open-minded and patient. At the same time, he or she needs to be completely honest about certain facts with either sets of parents or relatives. One of the core responsibility of an adoption agent is to help the birth mother or birth parents erase the guilt of giving up a child for adoption or foster care. Similarly, the experience of separation from a child at birth can be very traumatic for a birth mother. It is the agent’s responsibility to counsel her.

Hold Home Study
The adoption agent is expected to hold a home study visit wherein there are some mandatory procedures. The agent is expected to talk to all members of the family individually and in groups about the entire adoption process. This is what makes up the pre-adoption home study:

  • There are a set of documents that need to be filled and signed by the adoptive parents as well as the adoption agent. These documents form the basis of an adoption application.
  • During a home study, the adoption agent is expected to judge if the family is really suitable to adopt a child.
  • The adoption agent has to inform the family about the pros and cons of adoption, so as to prepare them for the actual adoption.
  • The agent has to inspect the actual home environment, run a check of criminal records on prospective adoptive parents and create a home study report. This home study report is handed over to the adoption panel for their review.

Pre-adoption Training
The adoption agent is expected to hold a pre-adoption training for the prospective adoptive parents before the actual adoption takes place. These training usually involves details on child care, case studies on how to inform the child about his adoption, etc.

Expected Salary
An adoption agent can expect an average salary ranging anywhere between $80,000 to $94,000 annually. These salaries may vary from state to state.

One needs to keep in mind that this job is not a field that offers a fat paycheck. Being an adoption agent is a satisfying job that makes you an angel of hope for the child, the adoptive parents as well the birth parents. Since you happen to be the main mediator during the adoption process, you are likely to be contact by the adopted child or his birth parents if they seek for a parent and child reunion. So, if you want to do something for the greater good without any materialistic temptation, then go for it!

Tips to Say to an Adopted Child

Tips to Say to an Adopted Child

Adopted children often feel like a second choice of the adoptive parents who could not have a child, and hence, resorted to adoption as a last option.
Adoption has worked for centuries, and will continue to work in the future. However, dealing with an adopted child may become difficult at times. This is because, we as human beings, tend to say certain things spontaneously, but these spontaneous words may not be appropriate in certain situations. As a result, conflicts may arise, which sometimes end up in broken relationships.

Being an adoptive parent, you cannot afford to be spontaneous in what you say, as it may have a devastating effect not only on the child’s mind, but also on the entire family. Understand that an adopted child does not sit the entire day contemplating about his adoption. Although it is a fact of his life, it is not the only important thing to talk about. Hence, it is better to avoid bringing up some sensitive topics while having a conversation with the child.

Please Note: To maintain the consistency of the article, the child has been referred to as a male.
What Not to Say to an Adopted Child

► You’re Special (because you are adopted)

Ideally, an adopted child should be treated as a normal child, in the sense that he should never be given different (special) treatment than others. Also, saying that he is special and unique may not be appreciated by the child, because he wants to be like other children and should always be treated as one amongst them.

► You Are Lucky

What is so lucky about being an adopted kid? Is the child lucky because his parents gave him up? Is he lucky because he does not have any clue about his biological parents, and if he will ever find them? These are the things one must think about before calling an adopted kid, lucky. Actually it’s the parents who feel they are lucky because they have adopted a kid, not to give him an opportunity for a better life, but because they are able to make a family like others.

► You Don’t Look Like Your Family (are you adopted?)

It is really the height of insensitivity to ask a child this question. The child may be already going through mental stress, and making such a statement will only aggravate the emotional distress. Moreover, the child’s past is his own story, which need not be shared with everyone, and hence, one should not focus on such unimportant things.

► Your Mother Loved You So Much; Hence, She Gave You Away.

This is the most confusing statement for the child. If you give a second thought to this statement, you will also realize its vagueness. And when you, as an adult, cannot understand the meaning of this statement, then how will that little one comprehend and respond to it?
Moreover, the child’s innocent mind will think that his mother loved him a lot, and hence, gave him away. Now, his adoptive mother also loves him, so will she too give him away?

Other things that you should never mention in front of an adopted kid include:

➼ You shouldn’t be angry or sad.
➼ It does not matter.
➼ You should be grateful to your adoptive parents.
➼ Forget your past, and get on with life.
➼ Why do you need to find your parents?
➼ You were chosen.

For adoptive parents, it is important to decide whether you want your child to know about his past or not. If you decide to tell him his past, learn the correct way to do that, and if you don’t want to reveal the truth to him, avoid saying a few things which may shatter his life. Also, never use the word ‘real’ for addressing the child’s biological parents, because there is nothing like real and unreal when it comes to parenting.

Ways to Become the Best Mummy

Ways to Become the Best Mummy

Learning, mentoring, tutoring and parenting. Out of these activities, parenting is the most responsible and toughest job in the world because children never fail to imitate parents and nobody is blessed with mothering skills naturally. Mistakes do happen but trust yourself as you know more than what you think to do.

In this wonderful world, many mothers with years of experience are available to tutor a mom on how to take care of her baby. You can find few Parenting Tips For Mothers here.

  1. Give your child the freedom to choose. This helps your child to inculcate good habits. For example, if he refuses to brush his teeth, let him choose a fancy tooth brush so that he tries to brush with it.
  2. Set a code for a bad habit. Utter the bad word loudly when your child is doing so. Then reward you child with a sweet surprise gift for not doing anything bad for that day. This helps in avoiding bad habits.
  3. Teach your child practicing relaxation techniques like yoga. This makes them stay strong and pleasant.
  4. Appreciate your child for his good behavior. This helps him to learn and succumb to good habits.
  5. Stay patient. This is the most important tip that every mother has to keep in her mind while she is trying to break her child’s bad habit. Reason out and explain clearly why bad habits are not to be followed. You can find number of experiences of a mother online that can best help you in parenting you child in the best possible way.

Before everything, what matters the most is the health of the family. Mother takes the sole responsibility of taking care of the entire family’s health. If you struggle to get your family to eat healthy meals, then you need not to worry anymore. There are quite a large number of Mom Healthy Recipe Blogs that help you deal with the healthy recipes that find a place on your dining table. You can makeover the meals every day with a new variety each time. It helps your family especially; your kid gets all the nutrients and proteins induced into their bodies.

You might be a working mom or home maker, but you have to deal with the family’s health. This can be simplified with the best Mommy Food Tips Blogs available on the internet. Always prepare a dish with different recipe each time. This helps you to convince your family that you have created a dish that has to be appreciated by them

Ways to Become A Great Parent

Ways to Become A Great Parent

Knowledge on how to raise kids these days is something every parent needs to come equipped with. You can either take advice from those who have kids, or from your own parents. The problem is, the same ways won’t apply to all kids, being either too extreme, too liberal or age-old methods. You have to understand that kids these days are more free-spirited and independent, attaining personalities at a very young age.

Exposure to outside elements like the media or friends who’ve ‘seen it all’ and are now introducing you to something new, is what fascinates and draws kids in these days. It is up to parents to bring them up in the best way possible, with advice and methods that will work into their lives as they grow older. You’ll find advice here on good parenting, with ways on dealing with difficult situations with a sort out head on your shoulders.

Tips to Become a Good Parent

If there’s one thing you’ll notice, is that yelling and banning kids from doing certain things, will only make them more curious and rebellious. If your kids are doing things that they are aware you did in the past or even in the present, they’ll boldly point it out and have their way in the argument. So before you pounce on them about something they’ve done, ask yourself if you were the one to blame in the first place. Parents are huge influential characters in a child’s life, where bad company and media follow in close pursuit.

Tell Yourself that Screaming Solves Nothing
My mother could do no wrong, is a fact written in stone when I look back on my childhood, but she did give me a good screaming now and then. I won’t say that I didn’t deserve it, but when she did let her vocal cords get the best of her, I only felt more resentful and angry. Later on as we kids grew out of that ‘raging hormones’ phase, we weren’t yelled at anymore because mom’s secret to handle us was gentle talk. While dad took the road never trodden on by mom; passing statements that pinched in the right spots was his way of handling us. She would instead calmly sit us down and tell us how wrong that certain act was, how to not be the kind of person that most parents feared their kids would turn out as and to be careful with whom we mixed with. So the next time you feel the need to scream your lungs out, think again of how you are just pushing your child away, making them want to do as they please.

Supervising Internet Time
My mom always made it a habit to sit at a distance behind us at the dining table as she kept a watchful eye on the PC screen, or only allowed us to use the Internet when she was home. It was her way of keeping an eye out for things we weren’t supposed to indulge in at such a young age. She was right in doing so but it did get on our nerves, where my elder sister would secretly buy those limited time Internet cards. We found our way around the problem and used the Internet secretly when she or dad wasn’t around. You cannot ban something completely because the Internet although a very powerful manipulation tool, is also at the end of the day a way to open your mind to new facets of information and socializing portals. True that kids meet friends in school everyday, but sometimes we like to stay in touch while not with them as well. What you need to do is allow your kids to use the Internet but to keep a track of how long they sit, what they’re doing and which websites they’re logging on to. As they age, you can loosen up your rein on supervision time.

Approaching the Idea of Sex and Dating
No child or young teen is forewarned about what dating and sex is like, and the only focus at that age is on their emotions. It is natural to feel attraction and add a crush or two to their list but acting out on it is the scary part. Some kids don’t date or associate with other kids their own age, with girls often exploring the thrill of dating a much older guy. It is your responsibility as a parent to approach these issues when they turn into teenagers or you’d be dealing with a child who secretly meets and keeps in touch with guys/girls. Be open about intercourse and explain to them what can happen if you open yourself up to unprotected sex. Explain how you have to be older to indulge in matters of the flesh, and encourage them to concentrate more on their education and socializing with the right crowd. Letting them know that there is an appropriate time for sex and how choosing the right person the first time around can be tricky, is where you’ll get them to pay attention.

The best way is to tell them about your first time, your past experiences with dating, heartbreak, betrayal and whatever else will help make them understand how complicated it can turn if you don’t approach these with the right frame of mind and understanding. Be honest and open with your child, so that they confide in you and open up about things they’re unsure of. That way you don’t have to lay up late at night wondering if your child is sneaking their dates in and out of the house, or escaping into the night for a party post midnight. As long as you are aware of what your child is up to, the rest shouldn’t matter because your child will know what to expect and how to manage a situation because you were there to guide him/her from day one.

Physical Abuse is a Huge No-No
Don’t get into the habit of physically pounding your kid to mush because it can seriously damage him/her psychologically and emotionally in the long haul. In a firm manner speak to them about their mistakes grounding them from doing things they like, but by no means allow yourself to raise a hand on them. The last thing you need is to deal with a beater or verbally abusive child in the future, or one that is violently aggressive to those they come across. It will affect a lot of areas in their lives if they were brought up in such stressfully abusive situations. If you see him/her doing something wrong, gently but firmly say ‘no’ to that action and tell them that there is punishment involved in repeating it. Punishment doesn’t have to equal being bashed up or public embarrassment.

Do Not Compare Your Child to Another’s
The biggest mistake parents make is comparing their child to another’s. Be it grades, weight issues, behavior, dressing sense or whatever else you find comparable, parents do not miss a chance to point out how another’s child is far better. That kind of thing can cripple their self-esteem, and all that banal talk will just fuel them to be the way they are out of spite. Instead encourage them to work towards better grades, get them the help they need to improve on a weak area in school and suggest ways on how to better themselves, instead of coming off as rude and contemptuous to their feelings.

To become a good parent you have to be able to approach the idea of parenting with an open mind, where advice from books is the best way to seek guidance. Don’t depend on another’s way of handling your kids, because they will have their own methods and parenting styles. Do a lot of reading on the subject and be prepared when handling kids, because like I said, you’d be dealing more with an adult than a child.